Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Our Scheduled Baby

We had to go all of the way to Ethiopia to get a baby who has a schedule. We obviously can't make that kind at home.

Benaiah has a schedule on which he KEEPS US! I guess it was from all of those months in the orphanage setting that makes him cling to the predictability of knowing he is going to get what he needs at a certain time.

7:45 am Wake up!
10:45 am Bottle and nap
12:30 pm Wake up!
3:30 pm Bottle and nap
4:30 pm Wake up!
9:30 pm Bottle and bed
2:00 am Get in bed with "Mumum" and "Dahdah"

Today, I had to leave the house -twice. William did good at getting him his morning bottle and nap, but when it came time for the second one, I was needed to leave again, and William needed to tend to things at work. Now, the little guy is a slobbery, stumbling mess, and I don't expect to have a good night's sleep tonight. (I'm not blaming William!)

We have found that we cannot do more than one event in a day. On Saturday, our event is church. Benaiah runs around and shows off. (We do not put him in the nursery yet.) Church is during the 2nd nap, he doesn't settle well to eat or take a bottle, and by the end of the night and all night long, he is just a mess!

Our biological children, learned to run around town and be around a lot of people early because we eased them into it as infants. Jeremy was "high-need" and running around was harder on him, and we've noticed that Benaiah is also not so laid-back and flexible. I would guess that this is because of the way he is wired and because his first year of life was very different.

I'll always remember the first time we took him to Kroger to grocery shop a month after we brought him home. We all went together. He started out in William's cart, but we quickly figured out that I needed to push him. He grabbed onto me for much of the trip, and I needed to keep talking to him and assuring him that things were OK. There were just too many colors and things there for him to process.

Between Benaiah's schedule and his temperament, we can't handle a lot of activity and excitement right now. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with him, I'm just saying that we need to be selective and conservative about the activity we expose him to outside of our home.


Rob & Candy said...

Susan great post. Our International adoption doctor said that schedule and consistancy are the two most important things for an adopted child.
Last week Henry and I went back to cocooning at the house- no car trips anywhere and no visitors. It seems over the top to some people but it was necessary for Henry. I could tell he was stressed, not sleeping well.... it was the best thing I could do for him. He is sleeping through the night and much happier!
Happy toddler equals happy mommy!

Carpenters said...

For me, having the kids on a schedule has been a blessing. They know what to expect and what we will be doing next. It's so nice. For the most part, they are easy going. Josiah loves to meet new people, especially kids. Along those lines, we are going to be in your neck of the woods this weekend and would love to get together if you are available. We would love to finally get to meet you all in person.